THE ONLY-SLIGHTLY-LESS-WELL-KNOWN OF THE CLASSIC BLUNDERS*

“Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”


In The Princess Bride (1987), hero Westley (Cary Elwes) and diminutive villain Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) engage in a Battle of Wits to the death. This involves Vizzini using his dizzying intellect to guess which of two wine goblets has been poisoned with deadly iocane powder. But Westley has pulled a fast one. He has spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane, allowing him to put poison in both wine glasses. Inconceivable!

*The most famous being: “Never get involved in a land war in Asia.”

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AUSTIN POWERS’ “THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE” LIST

When we see the list in Austin Powers In Goldmember (2002), all but the last two items have been crossed off.

1. Become International Man of Mystery.
2. Save World from Certain Doom.
3. Find True Love.
4. Go To Outer Space.
5. Travel Through Time, Backward and Forward.
6. Be Cryogenically Frozen.
7. Catch Dr. Evil in the First Act.
8. Threesome with Japanese Twins.
9. Earn Daddy's Respect.

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HOW TO...

Marry A Millionaire (1953) • Make A Monster (1958) • Stuff A Wild Bikini (1965) • Murder Your Wife (1965) • Steal A Million (1966) • Succeed In Business Without Really Trying (1967) • Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life (1968) • Commit Marriage (1969) • Frame A Figg (1971) • Steal A Diamond In Four Uneasy Lessons (1972) • Destroy The Reputation Of The Greatest Secret Agent… (1973) • Kill A Judge (1975) • Beat The High Co$t Of Living (1980) • Get Ahead In Advertising (1989) • Make An American Quilt (1995) • Be A Player (1997) • Make The Cruelest Month (1998) • Kill Your Neighbour’s Dog (2000) • Draw A Bunny (2002) • Lose A Guy In 10 Days (2003) • Deal (2003) • Eat Your Watermelon In White Company (And Enjoy It) (2005) • Eat Fried Worms (2006) • Go Out On A Date In Queens (2006) • Rob A Bank (And 10 Tips To Actually Get Away With It) (2007) • Lose Friends & Alienate People (2008) • Be (2008) • Save A Life (2009) • Make Love To A Woman (2010) • Train Your Dragon (2010) • Stop Being A Loser (2011) • Survive A Plague (2012) • Beat A Bully (2015) • Dance In Ohio (2015) • Be Single (2016)

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THE WISDOM OF TONY ‘SCARFACE’ MONTANA

"You gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

“I never fucked anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them.”

“All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one.”

“I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.”

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COST OF HIRING VIVIAN WARD (PRETTY WOMAN) FOR A WEEK

$3000 (including days)

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"GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY"

Contrary to popular belief, Clint Eastwood (as “Dirty” Harry Callahan) does not say the famous line in the first Dirty Harry (1971) film, but in its third sequel, Sudden Impact (1983).
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THE MARX BROTHERS

marxbrothers
Leonard ‘Chico’ Marx
Adolph* ‘Harpo’ Marx
Julius Henry ‘Groucho’ Marx
Herbert ‘Zeppo’ Marx

*Changed his name from Adolph to Arthur in 1911.

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ARMAGEDDON DRILLERS’ LIST OF DEMANDS

Before agreeing to blast off into space to save Earth from an approaching asteroid in Armageddon (1998), Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) and his bunch of world-renowned deep-core drillers have “a few requests”…


Oscar (Owen Wilson) wants his parking tickets to be wiped off his record (56 tickets in seven states).

Noonan (Clark Heathcliffe Brolly) has some women friends he’d like to see made American citizens (no questions asked).

Max (Ken Campbell) wants to bring back eight-track tapes.

Chick (Will Patton) wants a full week’s Emperor’s Package at Caesar’s Palace.

A.J. (Ben Affleck) wants to know who actually killed Kennedy.

Bear (Michael Clarke Duncan) would like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the summer.

Rockhound (Steve Buscemi) wants none of them to have to pay taxes again. Ever.

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VERSUS

Alien Vs. Predator (2004)
Asterisk Vs. Caesar (1985)
Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (2002)
Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice (2016)
Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012)
Cowboys Vs Dinosaurs (2015)
Dick Tracy Vs Cueball (1946)
Dollman Vs. Demonic Toys (1993)
Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers (1956) Eagle Vs Shark (2007)
Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)
Hercules Vs. The Moon Men (1964)
Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil (2011)
Jack And Jill Vs. The World (2008)
King Kong Vs. Godzilla (1962)
Kramer Vs. Kramer (1979)
Lake Placid Vs. Anaconda (2015)
Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
Mothra Vs. Godzilla (1964)
Monsters Vs. Aliens (2009)
The People Vs. Larry Flynt (1996)
Puppet Master Vs Demonic Toys (2004)
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010)
Tucker And Dale Vs. Evil (2010)
The U.S. Vs. John Lennon (2006)
Wife Vs. Secretary (1936)

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THE FIVE D'S OF DODGEBALL

Dodge • Duck • Dip • Dive • Dodge

Hank"This is Patches O'Houlihan saying
'Take care of your balls, and they'll take care of you.'"

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LAST MAJOR HOLLYWOOD FILM TO BE RELEASED ON VHS

Pasted Graphic
A History Of Violence
(2005)

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INSCRIPTION ON THE ONE RING

inscription-on-the-one-ring

Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.*

*One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

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